Books

A Clarity4Couples Guide

Eight workbooks, one for each stage of a relationship, with worksheets, scripts and checklists to fill in, from wanting a relationship to the year after one ends.

Paperback and Kindle on Amazon; ebook on Apple Books and Barnes & Noble.

Book 1 · Wanting a relationship

How Do You Start Dating?

Deciding whether you want a relationship, and beginning from wherever you are

You're single, and you're wondering whether you want a relationship or just feel you should.

This book starts before the apps. It helps you work out what you're hoping for, why now, and whether there's room in your life for someone. Then it meets you where you are: never having dated, starting again in your 50s or later, dating after coming out, or living with a family or faith timeline. After that come meeting people, asking someone out, and the stretches when it doesn't go your way.

Worksheets on what you're hoping for and where a partner would fit in your week
Scripts for asking someone out, answering family pressure and saying you're new to this
Checklists for a profile in one sitting and a break that's a real break
Short made-up examples of people starting from very different places

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Book 2 · First dates

First Dates, Start to Finish

From the first message to the second date: planning, meeting safely, talking, and deciding what comes next

You've matched with someone, and now there's a first date to plan.

This book follows a date in the order it happens. First the stretch before you meet: turning messages into a plan, choosing a place, meeting someone from an app safely, and noticing when a story doesn't add up. Then the evening itself, from what to talk about to who pays. Then the days after: your notes, a second date, ending things kindly, or silence. It works whether you asked or were asked.

A one-page date plan and a pre-date checklist
A check-in card to give a friend you trust
Scripts for asking for a second date, ending things kindly and leaving at any point
Exit lines for six situations, and a checklist for when a match asks for money

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Book 3 · Getting to know someone

Getting to Know Someone

From a few good dates to deciding what you are

A few good dates in, and you're not yet sure what the two of you are.

This book covers the weeks and months that follow: whether you actually like them, how often to be in touch, a pace that seems to be slowing, and which early signs deserve real weight. It helps you talk about physical pace and consent, your past, friends and family, and what can't bend. It also speaks to parents dating with children at home, and to anyone dating someone who has children.

A five-date review and a between-dates notebook
Two timelines, the next twenty years side by side, to fill in together
Scripts for raising a small thing and for asking what you are
A limit card and a wait-limit card to keep for yourself

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Book 4 · Moving toward something longer-term

Before the Next Step

What to talk about before you move in, merge money, close the distance or get engaged

A first trip, a shared lease, closing the distance, a ring: a bigger step is in front of you.

This book is for the conversations that come before it. It covers the holidays with two families, who moves and whose career leads, what moving in means to each of you, merging money, joining a family that already exists, children, engagement, and a partner who keeps saying "not yet." Most worksheets are filled in alone, then compared, so one answer doesn't shape the other.

A money disclosure sheet and a household accounts table
The how-and-when grid for children, and a room-by-room plan for two homes' worth of things
Scripts for "What does this mean to you?" and for an honest limit that isn't an ultimatum
Questions to take to a lawyer or a doctor before you decide

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Book 5 · Everyday life together

Everyday Life Together

A workbook for couples on time together, housework, money, family and the years ahead

Your relationship is basically working, and you'd like to keep it that way.

This workbook is about ordinary weeks: noticing what makes each of you feel cared for, keeping affection in busy days, and splitting the housework and the remembering so both feel fair. It covers everyday money, hours that don't match, families, friends and social media, and the longer seasons, from a new baby to aging parents to a house that has gone quiet. Every chapter ends with a route for doing it on your own if your partner won't join in.

The four-part weekly check-in card
The monthly money card: came in, went out, coming up, one decision
A two-week noticing log, and a page for who owns which area of the home
Scripts for raising an uneven split and asking for one specific thanks

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Book 6 · When things are hard

When Things Get Hard

Practical help with arguments, distance, doubt and difficult seasons in a relationship

Things between you have been hard for a while, and you want to understand what's happening.

This book is for one partner, reading alone if need be. It begins by helping you tell an ordinary hard patch from a situation that calls for more than a book. Then it covers doubt, feeling like roommates, the argument that keeps coming back, a partner who goes quiet, jealousy, broken trust, and carrying something heavy together. Every chapter shows what you can do on your own, and pages meant for two say so.

A pause agreement card for arguments that run too hot
A worksheet for mapping the fight you keep having, in plain words
An apology builder, for the one apologizing and the one deciding whether to believe it
A first-session prep sheet, if you decide to try counseling

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Book 7 · Ending a relationship

Parting With Care

Deciding, saying it, and separating a shared life

You may be deciding whether to stay, ready to say it, or just told that your partner wants to go.

This book follows a separation in the order it tends to happen. It helps you decide, find words for your partner, your children, and friends and family, and get through the first month if you're the one being left. Then it turns to untangling a shared life: how separation and divorce generally work, sharing a home, moving out, the money, and parenting from two homes. Every chapter works whether or not you're married.

One honest reason, and scripts for the conversation itself
Shared words for telling children, with versions by age
A shared money map, a house agreement and a first parenting plan
Questions to ask any lawyer or mediator, wherever you live

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Book 8 · After a relationship ends

After It Ends

A practical guide to the first year after a relationship ends, from the first week to dating again

A relationship has ended, and the first year after it is in front of you.

Whether you ended it, were left, or lost something that never had a name, this book goes through the year as it tends to unfold: the first week, shared accounts and social media, the replaying, closure on your own, and what to do when your ex gets in touch or moves on. It ends with dating again, when and if you're ready. Chapters for widowed readers cover the hard dates, finding support and meeting someone new.

A week-one plan for the first days
Three piles, for sorting the questions that keep circling
A hard-dates calendar for anniversaries and holidays
A readiness checklist, and words for telling someone new about the past

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